xmas eve

i've missed the countdown

i've missed the moment when ppl start to counting numbers

everyone is getting married on xmas

went to his friend's wedding dinner...

and we're late for the countdown..

was in the car looking for parking place while ppl screaming outside...

quite disappointed...

not only this

i don't feel like happy in this xmas eve night

i can't get over with the feeling

i really can't deal with it

slept in mad & crazy mood

had a nightmare

about zombie..

i should stop seeing zombie, playing zombie games...

that's so scary as in i live in the zombieland myself..

hiding killing and all those bloody action...

so i didn't get a good night sleep...

i'm freaking tired now..

waiting for "people" to get shower, get ready to go for breakfast,

then heading to next destination for shopping...

hope tonight will be a good night~*

Wish You a Merry♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪ Christmas♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪We Wish You a Merry ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪Christmas ♥ ♥ ♥We Wish You A Merry ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪Christmas ♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪...And A Happy New Year!♪♫•*¨*•.¸¸♥ ¸¸.•*¨*•♫♪...

merry xmas to u all~*

lemon tea thoughts

day come and go,

i've asking myself:" do i live my life like the way i want it to?"

the answer is : "nop, not everyday."

things come and go,

you have to decide when it comes to the point of making new decision,

a choice that may seem harmless,

it still may bring you into big trouble.

no matter what decision you're making,

trust in yourself that you can make it better.

even if it get worst all the time.

i don't expect a very good result from every decision i made

because nothing in life goes perfect unless we work it out.

i knew i might be a lil too sensitive,

but being sensitive isn't that bad,

at least i knew what bad things you're gonna bring when you made your decision

i might not know things,

because i will get the knowledge if you are willing to talk to me.

seriously i'm not sure what i'm talking about,

but that's my way of thinking.

drinking my "high tea",

actually it was lemon grass tea in the room,

writing this blog.

chatting with a friend who having trouble

trying to help the friend or i should say " listen to her for her to feel better"

wish she can get over this mess.

Love,

Vivi

randomness

A Wish

I lie on the ground,

and stare into space,

the stars start to move,

into the shape of your face.

I see you there now,

looking down at me,

with that cute little smile,

that I like to see.

You say "close your eyes",

"tell me what you see",

I see only two people,

just you and me.

We're walking the shoreline,

with our feet getting wet,

the horizon turns pink,

as the sun starts to set.

We make wish on that night,

on that white sandy shore,

then I hold you while thinking,

I could want nothing more.

Oh I wish I could be,

in that one special place,

as I lie on the ground,

and I stare into space...

modified by

Vivi

it's a love poem that speaking out my thoughts,

only if both of us cherish each other,

give commitment, trust and most importantly - love,

nothing in this earth can tear us apart

No matter this is for family, friends or relationship,

as long as we hold our hand together,

there is always hope in the future.

i hate giving up on things i should have done nicely,

i hate having regret in my life,

i hate i have this kind of can't-let-go feeling,

i wish i could be more wise, smart, or maybe happy-go-lucky like the previous me,

i'm kinda lost with the feeling of happy-go-lucky,

i wish i could get it back

the essential point of a happy life is:-

Hope: always have faith/ hope that make you move on

Absorb: take in whatever criticism that people might give and make yourself a better one

Pain: without these wounds that cause pain in your life, you'll never know how happy you could be

Peace: bring peace to yourself by forgiving people

You: there is always a subject to fulfill these HAPPY theory

maybe you think i'm bullshitting...

sometimes it's easy to be happy,

but sometimes it's also hard to be happy.

it depends on your choice to be happy,

or to be unhappy.

so make your choice~*

Love Vivi

changes to be made

v-mum has been murmuring for the whole week...

V-mum: " aiya, that company so good mah, salary is the same but you can get more public holidays unlike this one."

V: "i know but it seems inappropriate to switch now."

V-mum: "u still young mah, can change to better one then change lo."

V: (full of thoughts)........

shall i go? or shall i stay?

i just got salary increment this month...is it too bad for me to change my job now?

in comparison

current company don't have sick leave until u're there for 1 year, no public holiday except chinese new year but i'm doing the job that i like which is design.

the X company

got sick leave, pay leave...any public holiday also our public holiday...i didn't know know much on the business although they didn't require any experienced just need to be F5 level. i'm now on the degree-to-be level so it's not a problem for me to go there.

should i?

tell me what to do.....

hello~

just a few words before i go to sleep...

was rushing my assignment, thank god we got few more days extension...

kinda worried on my assignment marks this semester,

most of the assignment i got half of the marks...

i just can't imagine if i get lower marks and failed the paper, then have to redo and pay the same amount of money.

that's the worst condition i will get.

but i will try my best not to let this happen.

be positive Lye Vivi.

m just heading to bed, have a good rest

tmr gonna have long day working @ office, facing crappy customers

then back home to battle up for assignment again.

be strong, Lye Vivi.

not just your need your support,

your family needs you too...remember?

just ignore me when i'm talking to myself...

alright, just don't waste anymore time.

good luck to all my coursemates too....and of course who ever is doing assignment at the moment

(att to :USQ march 2009 batch)

PRL 2001 issue and crisis management

i'm gonna take you down.

meeting Uncle Chow now...good night!

middle of the night or early in the morning

it's now 0121....

i'm still awake waiting his call...

written a letter that's undelivered...

hoping that someone could understand me more.

hoping everything will be fine after all...

borrowed my dad's hand for photograph..

need a "hand" for my banner design

i'm still a bit sick, tired very~

and this girl hoping tomorrow she will be able to put a big smile on her face.

sorry for 22-09-09, sorry for being so moody whole day

tried to play plocks but couldn't scored.

damnnit...

m not lucky today.

wish that i could sleep now.

but gonna off here...

so good night

oyasuminasai, everyone~

love yea loads~

懒懒的星期日

原本想睡到自然醒，一通电话就把我吵醒。。

我的妈打来叫去吃点心。。。

电话挂断又倒回去睡多三十分钟。。。

真得好累。。

一整天心情就像一条平行线，没起也没落。。。

电话丢在一旁，不管了。。声音也关了。。

所以今天联络不到我的人，知道什么原因了吧！

一心二用的我，

一边想功课，一边玩游戏。。。

纯粹只是想浪费时间。。。

无所事事的假日，就这样没了。。。

明天到底要不要去上班呢？

不上班，在家里当蜡人。。。还是去上班，当装忙的人？

（想去上班因为钱不够用，可以得双倍工钱）

但是基本上工作已经做得九九十十了，去了不懂老板会不会不爽。。

烦人的问题。。。唉。。。

stressful

Stress diagram of mine


issues always come along in life...
no matter you are rich, poor, thin, fat, sick, healthy....
want to learn how to overcome every of it
but it's just so hard
would it be easier if i don't care on anything?
but does it means the best solution?
life-long problem
hang-in there Lye Vivi
you can do it!

1st month

National independence day conclude my 1st month working here....

wonder how will my salary goes....

don't know got OT claim or not...(3 months confirmation)

not yet get my salary...

my purse is hungry like nobody's business d...

debts keep coming...

mum said: " you start working liao, you should pay your own insurance liao..."

me: " ........(lll-_-)"

so every month have to deduct RM150 for insurance...

then next day, received invitation letter from HCC....

it's for the graduation ceremony....

waiting more 9 months....just like waiting my baby to come out...

my baby here = my diploma certificate...

who knows have to pay somemore...lll-_-

RM190...again my salary dunno still got how much left...

1st month working salary all pay debts...

no need makan d...

i eat "kok zong"....

life is so hard...

i wan lotsa lotsa money arrrrrr~~

why other ppl no need to work so hard but they get higher pay?

even can keep on change handphone la, laptop la, clothes la, accessories la, even car la....

who know how to earn lotsa money with easy way...?

teach me teach me....

perhaps this is my "fate"

the "suan ming shi" already said that i have to work very hard untill i'm quite old only can be rich....

this is my destiny...

i will face alot of obstacles....like he said....

but i still believe in myself...

i think i can do it...

new house, new car, new everything for my family, own life....

my target...will soon be accomplished....

just hang in there and wait to see the show....

i really hope...so...

Changes

past: i'm a happy-go-lucky person

present: i'm forcing myself to be a happy-go-lucky person

future: i don't know how is the feeling of happy-go-lucky

past: i am a perfectionist

present: i'm still a perfectionist but sometimes 90% can satisfied me

future: i had no idea what is perfect

past: i'm a bad tempered person

present: i brainwash myself to become a not-so hot tempered person

future: i'm a person without any feeling of angry/mad

people tend to change over time,

some people tend to change better,

some people is the other way round,

i'm glad that i did change my temper...

trying to convince myself that i'm happy

but in fact, i don't know whether i really am..

i know what i want..

but i just can't get it...

that's the missing part of my heart...

no one really knows except me...

it's hard to tell how does that feel

but i'm sure it feels so awful

and yet i couldn't show it in front of other people

is just between me and my heart...

i love my family, my friend and him....

loving someone means we have to sacrifice ourself to fulfill other's wishes...?

i don't know....

should i?

change myself to that kind of person they want me to be?

tired + slept too much + cried + being ffk+ funny = my entire week

tired
i put it first because of once again i put myself 40 hours didn't sleep again!
from thursday morning 8am till friday night 11pm...
morning work, night rush assignment...morning work again...night clear my stuff
it's been few days i slept at 2am and wake up at 6am to do my assignment
finally get it done after so many obstacles...

Slept too much
after submitted my assignment, i get the time to sleep...
so i take my chance to sleep as much as i can
as a result of it, headache this morning....

cried
it's because during my assignment in progress....
too many obstacles....
do till almost done, suddenly electricity gone off....
left me and my laptop cried in the dark...
he ask me to sleep...but i couldn't
somemore ask me don't cry like a ghost at the side of the bed
*heartbreak....
after the electricity recover, found my file got auto-saved...
thank god...
then after check...need to make some changes....
i click the save button for 3 times...
after make sure only i close the file
so that i can submit via online
who knows...the file just disappear like that...
been doing it whole night and it's almost time to work
i can't do anything
get ready for work
then open my email at workplace...
still got the old copy inside...luckiness in the unluckiness
then correct my things as fast as i can
then faster submit...

Being ffk + funny
Uncle ricky promised to bring us to Ipoh to see clay making factory..
woke up at 6am...went for cold shower...it's raining....
when i came out from bathroom...phone rang and trip cancelled...
i'm like wtf, i showered d...now dun wan go...celaka...
tosing turning few times
go downstairs grab newspaper and my babie vabbit....
read newspaper while my babie run under my bed...
suddenly he came out and lick my leg...
and his thingy came out...lol...
real funny...
done newspaper reading...bring him back to his cage
back to bed and sleep again...
that's make my long sleep day~

Time needed

woke up early in the morning...

hoping it would be a bright sunshine day

yes, it is for only an hour...rain again...

been busy working for weeks...

J assignment was last minute work..

banner design was late too..

now PR assignment coming up...

friday is the submission date..

dunno how i'm gonna die on it...

printed out part of the readings...

it's like a 5-inches thick

only part of the reading...

hell yea, no way i'm gonna finish it...

he went out with photographer uncles~

i'm home with my stack of papers...

took out my papers...

writing blog here...

bring out vabbit to let him run around..

my mum keep talking to vabbit cos he is being naughty..

chewing my mum's paper box on the floor..

but at least vabbit is happy...hopping around....

ran upstairs and go downstairs...

sorry for not being a good mama...

mama need to work and study...

the only thing i can do is

to clean up ur poo poo during lunch time everyday...

mama still sayang vabbit aight....

will try to spend more time with my babie ok?

gonna start reading my papers...

wish time won't passed so fast...

i need time...

my most recent after-work-rush-to-class-look...

❤Vivi❤

here comes my update

Sunday, finally a rest day for me...

but gonna start my assignment before it's too late to rush on 'em..

i mean 'em~ loads of assignment in my hand now

been struggling on arranging my timetable

Have to abandoned my Restaurant City for work

started to work means lesser time to go for class

might not meeting my girls so often...

but you all know i'll try my best to come

wednesday is a AFFIRMATIVE attendance d

i guess tomorrow can't go to class

got jobs in my hand to handle

wish me good luck

yesterday was a heavy rain day~

while working, talking with colleagues

out of a sudden, a lightning strikes right behind me...

indoor, U KNOW???!!!

just right at the printing machine....

damn scary wei

how if it explode?

die on my 1st day of work...

that would be a miserable work day..

don't wanna die so soon

i still have loads of dream to fulfill...

wanna finish my degree or perhaps master later...

Get a good job, loads of pay....

make sure my parents get to live a sensational life

find my perfect man...not as 100% but 90% is good enough

make some great achievement to lighten up my life

make my life a buy-whatever-i-want life...

that's perfect~

to be achieve list of mine...

lol...dream of it...

wanted to get a mac...

designer really should get one...

my banner design still stuck there...

gotta continue kick start my day with my assignment loads

ttyl

Hectic life begins

thought will have free sunday after quit gym job, who knows?

boss ask me to work for another sunday.....

and now i'm in trouble....

today gonna study for exam

wednesday also study for exam, then go for PR class

thursday morning have to cover news, then revise again for exam, then got Feature Writing class at night

Friday morning is the exam time, then rush back to do my passport(luckily he can make it to friday, too many stories to tell inside this schedule)

saturday starting new job as graphic designer @ ex-company, night time should be the only time i can breath awhile for the whole week

Sunday work back in gym....waiting for a change of plan for Sunday...

i'll be tired like a dog...

god bless me

hope everything goes well

1, 2, 3, 4 to someone

loving someone, is giving that someone the power to hurt you

i agreed, you open up your fleshy bloody heart to accept that someone in your life.

even if you feel that loving someone is so much important. the more you love, the more you care, so the more you'll be hurt. it's just a very direct formula.

for one who already experienced it, you shall be totally agree with me.

for one who haven't experienced it, you will know when you truly love someone.

there is no sadness in love

in your dreams perhaps, not in reality. Apparently human is one kind that tend to make mistakes.

even god might make mistakes to put a girl soul into a guy body. mistakes creates sadness, or maybe disappointed that will lead to sadness...so there is no way i'm going to agree on this.

We enjoy warmth because we have been cold. We appreciate light because we have been in darkness. By the same token, we can experience joy because we have known sadness.

i love this quote the most, good job David Weatherford...the moral of it is to appreciate. but who the hell on earth really know how to appreciate?

hearts living by being wounded :: oscar wilde ::

sadly to say it's true. A wounded heart never heals...forever and ever the memories will stick together with the wounds. maybe it's a good thing to hurt once with a giant wound and then when you hurt again, your heart will be not so pain cos nothing is bigger than the 1st wound.

yes, i love you and i do mean it

i know you might hurt me up

or perhaps you already do

while yourself didn't even realised

blaming people isn't so good for your health

so please stop blaming

find a solution

we both can do it together